"People like me are seriously tempted to let our pride attach itself to the teaching and lifestyle that we call biblical patriarchy and make an idol of it. We may try to solve the problem of sin and misery in our families through perfecting our technique and use of the rod, or through the choice of a perfect home school curriculum, or through avoiding church youth groups, or through leading our children to marriage through courtship, or through getting involved in a family-integrated church. We can easily come to rely on these very good lifestyle choices, and the biblical principles we believe lie behind them, as if these things themselves have the power to transform families and assure that they will be followers of Christ. But they can't do that.
The inherent danger of being people with a cause is that we lose sight of our Cause. Biblical patriarchy is not the meaning of life for the Christian. Christ is. "For to me, to live is Christ........" (Phil. 1:21) Biblical patriarchy itself is not the secret for rebuilding families, churches, and nation. Christ is. It is horrible to think while focusing on the ingredients of a wholesome and biblical way of life, we may lose sight of the one who is the only source, guide, and goal of the Christian life, Christ himself." Phil Lancaster, Family Man, Family Leader
The above excerpt from a book my husband has struck me as so true. For several years now we have been watching families that are further down the road of parenting than we are. Sadly, we see so many families losing their children. We don't want that to happen to our family and pray for God's mercy and grace in raising our children. I agree that things like home schooling, family integrated churches, avoiding youth group, etc. are all great things that strengthen the family. I can't imagine not having the support of our church and the reinforcement of biblical standards we have for our children. I can't imagine having our children in school and battling the issues that come with that. So, I ponder why is it that we are seeing some (certainly not all) of these families that appear to be doing the right thing have children that turn their backs on what they have been taught? I don't have all of the answers (I wish I did!) However, I have observed the following.
I have seen families that are so strict and never seem to have any fun. It is those families that the children grow up and seem to turn their backs on everything they were taught. We have learned so much from our pastor. He has raised three boys with very high standards. He always stresses to make home a fun place. If he didn't allow them to go somewhere or do something that everyone else was doing he came up with an alternative. I think some parents become so dogmatic in the "good things" they are doing that they lose sight of what really matters. Our desire for our children is that they learn to love God with all of their hearts. If they love God, I believe they will have a desire to uphold high standards in their life and want to be set apart from the world.
The other thing that I have seen, is that every family I can think of that have rebellion with their children the wife does not follow the husbands leadership. If the house is divided it is bound to affect the children. Also, I have seen mothers that "protect" their children (especially the daughters) from the father. Not supporting the husband in the area of clothing or other things is bound to sow seeds of rebellion in their hearts.
Our prayer is that our children and our children's children love God and follow after His truths, not because of us but because of their own personal relationship with the Lord. We pray that there will be many generations of faithfulness.
"I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth." 3 John 4
3 comments:
This is an excellent post! I too see the exact same thing with families whose children are growing up and living some very wild lives.
Although we don't have any children right now, Lord willing we will and I want to train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Great post! I am thankful that you are my wife. I love to hear the truth that falls from your lips.
Love,
Marc
I agree, it is sad to see families who seem to have done all the right things, and have children who rebel and reject the way they were raised.
One of the reasons we believe this happens is because parents teach all the do's and don'ts, but they don't teach why the do's and don'ts. God doesn't just give us rules to follow, He gives us the reason why they are rules. And when we read His word we see that these rules are for our good. Take the verse, do everything without complaining and arguing. How many times as parents do we use that verse to plead our case? But how many times do we share the second part of the verse? "so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe as you hold out the word of life—in order that I may boast on the day of Christ that I did not run or labor for nothing." God gives us the why.
So when we don't give the reasons why we do what we do we end up with children who are moral on the outside, but not on the inside. They are a book of walking rules. And then when they grow up and leave home, their daddy's and momma's are not around anymore to say do and don't, so they live their own way. They are moral robots, they have not been taught that we obey God because we love Him with all of our being, everything that we are. Following God is not just about following a bunch of rules, it's about wanting to please the One we love.
We cannot just train the outside of our children. We need to train their hearts. This takes more time and effort, but in the end it will be worth it. We will have children who will have something to draw from when they have to make the decisions of do's and don'ts.
Thank you for touching on this subject. It is one that needs to be addressed.
May God bless you as you raise your children for His honor and glory.
Rosalie
Post a Comment