LiFe...

is hard sometimes.  Lately, it has been one of those "times".  It seems like I spin my wheels from the time I get up until I fall into bed at night but still have so many things that I needed to get done.  I lay in the bed at night and think about which child I feel like I failed that day, or who needed extra help in school that I didn't get to, discipline that should have been administered that I let slide.  I have heard moms of large families say that it isn't any harder to have more children than to have one or two.  I don't know if it is a pride thing with them or what, but I completely disagree!  Yes, the babies do get lots of attention by older, adoring siblings, yes there are extra hands to get things done.  However, the truth is that the responsibility is still on my shoulders.  I feel pulled in lots of directions right now.  Older children like to stay up late at night talking.  I love those times and I cherish them because you know they will soon be coming to an end.  But you stay up late talking and just as soon as you fall asleep the teething baby wakes you up.  Then morning comes (way too early) and the preschooler is up with boundless energy demanding breakfast.  Children need direction, floors need mopping, laundry needs to be washed, meals planned, groceries bought,  and school............  Home schooling is HARD!  Teaching a first grader is a monotonous thing!  The days that they catch on quickly are SO rewarding, and the days that they don't....... you feel like you are hitting your head against a wall!  Jumping from kid to kid helping them, looking for your four year old that has disappeared,  the baby needs to be nursed.  Oh..... and you realize that you have waited until the day your car insurance is due to shop for better quotes!  That was the kind of day that I had today. 

Yesterday I was gone all day to a funeral.  My 88 year old father's brother died.  There were nine children in his family and my dad is the last one living.  It was a long, emotional day.  I think today I tried to play "catch up" and it just didn't work!  We also are in the middle of some DIY household projects. The house is a mess and when my house is a mess I don't function well.  I thrive on order!  My sweet husband came home from work tonight and worked on it some more.  I know he was tired and that made me feel bad.  I could go on and on and on complaining.  I'm not sure why I even wrote this post. :o)  Maybe it was good therapy just to write it all out!

The girls had piano today and while they were there I went grocery shopping.  When I was checking out, the cashier told me of a lady that worked there whose husband died of a heart attack this morning.  As I was leaving I immediately thought about how fast life can change and that I needed to be thankful instead of complaining.  I don't "feel" like being thankful tonight, but I am going to choose to be thankful.

I am thankful for a house to clean, clothes to wash, children to teach, our health, my husband that works hard to provide for us, the freedom to home school (even though it makes me crazy sometimes!),  my bed, and the Lord's mercy that I need every day!  I am thankful that tomorrow is a new day.

"Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed,
Because His compassions fail not.
 They are new every morning;
Great is Your faithfulness."  Lamentations 3:22-23