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Our family went to the beach several weeks ago. It was a much needed distraction with everything that was going on with me. The weather was cooler than normal and it was a very relaxing trip. McKenzie posted a few pictures here. (We only took about 500! :o)
Mariah and Malachi always supply us with lots of artwork! :o)
Lined up in birth order after we had a picnic at a rest stop.
Eating Chinese food the first night is one of our traditions. :o)
He did this so many times while we were there. I think he liked the upside down view.
Where we stayed we could see the huge ships going in and out.
The little guys...
Pippy long stockings :o)
Malachi's "jumping" picture. :o)
The big kids...
One of our favorite places to eat.
Eating out by the water.
Mariah and Madeline love playing in the sand.
Napping on the beach is the best!
Walking the pier at night.
Where we stayed we could see the huge ships going in and out.
The little guys...
Pippy long stockings :o)
Malachi's "jumping" picture. :o)
The big kids...
One of our favorite places to eat.
Eating out by the water.
Mariah and Madeline love playing in the sand.
Napping on the beach is the best!Walking the pier at night.
Goodbye summer 2011...
I left the doctor's office very upset and discouraged. I immediately called my husband who was his usual positive self and he kept telling me to trust the Lord. We told the children that the baby was very small and there was a good chance I would miscarry. I really hoped for a miracle but the Lord had other plans for our little one. The next week the sonogram showed that the baby had not grown and the heart beat was very faint. I knew that at 10 weeks I should be able to see arm and leg buds and that it was very obvious this baby wasn't going to make it. I went home to wait on "nature to take its course."
It has been a very sad time and I feel like I have been on an emotional roller coaster. I don't think anyone can understand miscarriage unless you have experienced it. It is not a fun thing to go through. Sometime between week 10 and 11 the baby must have died because a little after week 11 I miscarried. One of the things that I had prayed was that the Lord would allow me to see the baby. I did not want to just flush it down the toilet. Amazingly I did find the baby, and as heartbreaking as it was I was so grateful to have it. I wanted to do some kind of memorial for the baby. We decided to bury it in our garden area and plant bulbs that will come up in the spring when the baby would have been born. One night in the bed Marc asked me if I had a feeling of what sex the baby was and did I want to name it. I told him I felt like it was a girl. Our family are all "M" names but I couldn't come up with any "M" name that seemed fitting. The only consolation I had through this was thinking that the baby was in heaven and would always be safe. I told Marc I thought "Haven" (which means a safe dwelling place) would be neat but I felt sad not giving it an "M" name. He assured me that she wouldn't care. We even had a good laugh thinking about if we get to heaven and it was a little boy! :o) (Although, Haven is English and is considered a unisex name.)
I hung it where the next baby's picture would have hung. It seems fitting for now.
Well, this has been a road that I would rather not have traveled. I would love to say that I had the perfect faith and trusted the Lord through the whole thing. Malachi pretty much summed it up tonight. I had to go back to have more blood work done today and the sonogram lady came out to see me and brought the sonogram pictures to me. They were laying on the kitchen table and Malachi asked me what they were. I told him that they were pictures of our baby. He asked me if I had a baby in my tummy, and I told him that Jesus had taken our baby to heaven. He said, "Well, that's not fair." Nope, doesn't seem fair at all. We heard a family sing this song a couple of years ago and the lyrics have been on my mind a lot lately.
