On July 14th, what would have been our parents 50th wedding anniversary, we went to spend the weekend with my dad. The pregnancy center that my mom was the director of for 17 1/2 years celebrated their 20th anniversary that same day. They asked us to come to the celebration because they were dedicating the building in our mom's memory. My sisters and I had planned on having a party for them this summer. This was a good distraction for my dad, but we were all glad when the day was over.
This is the plaque that will be by the front door of the building.
My niece Carrington and Madeline with grandpa. My girls with one of my mom's best friends and mentor, Mrs. Mildred.
My sister had the idea to release gold balloons in honor of their 50th wedding anniversary.
My dad put his hand in the sky and said, "Happy Anniversary", it was sweet and very sad.
On the 4th of July I took my oldest four to my dad's house to spend the day. My two sisters and their families were there and we went through some things of my mom's. The kids enjoyed swimming with their cousins.
Mariah, Abigail and Carrington
McKenzie and Abigail- the oldest grandchildren.
Mariah and Carrington
The girl cousins (minus Lily-Kate)
My dad enjoyed having everyone at his house but there was definitely a void without grandma!
Grandma's "place" at the table.
My dad, sisters and I
The grand kids went through some of my mom's little trinkets and divided them up. It was sweet that even the boys wanted something of grandma's!
The grandchildren lined up in birth order. Malachi and Myles were the only ones missing.
July 14, 1962 my parents were married. Tomorrow, July 14, 2012 would have been their 50th wedding anniversary. My mom so desperately wanted to live for that day. It is heart wrenching that we will "celebrate" their 50 years tomorrow without her. During her hospital stay she would say things like, "I have got to live for July 14th."
The last few days have been really hard for me. Grief comes in waves. I am amazed some days that I am able to go on and function and then I will have a memory or thought that is just overwhelming. I know one thing.... I cannot imagine having to go through this without my two sisters! We have talked on the phone for hours and hours saying the same things over and over.... just because we know that the other person knows what we are going through. I have fleeting thoughts about calling my mom. It usually happens when I am stressed about something or if I have a "down" moment. I wonder if it will always be that way. I remember when my grandmother died my mom saying, "I would love to call mama and tell her about that." It is so weird to me that my mom has no idea the things that are going on in our lives right now. We went to the beach last week and I didn't have a mom to say, "You watch those babies in that ocean!" She has been gone over two months now. I feel like it has been forever. I have had someone ask me if it is getting any easier. Life goes on, you learn to function in your new norm, but no.... I don't think the void will ever go away. There are some things only a mother can fill!
Today I decided to lay Myles down for an early nap because I was tired! About thirty minutes later I walked past my bedroom door and thought I smelled baby powder. I opened the door and it was literally a sea of white with a white powdery little boy curled up in my pillows. He looked at me and grinned. I just walked out and closed the door. Yes, it was THAT bad! I guess I should have learned the first time and put the baby powder up!
The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.
"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, So are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;" Psalms 127:3-5
"And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, “Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses.” Nehemiah 4:14
Marc and Marcy
McKenzie Elizabeth & Daniel
Matthew Edward Fletcher
"For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast." Ephesians 2:8-9